I understand the the "dislike" of scooters. I personally needed an economical way of getting around. To prevent looking like a "super nerd", I opted for an alternative. Old school dual purpose bike. I love my '77 XL350! A few small mods, and it gets almost 70mpg. All the manly fun, without the gay side-effects!
I've taken the rules to the limit, but I've never cheated!